Tomorrow is the day!
My sweet family is returning from a week-long tour of the mid-southern states of Oklahoma, Missouri, Illinois, Kentucky, Tennessee, Arkansas, and back to Oklahoma. Through all that travel, they have visited Jane’s parents in Kentucky and my family in Tennessee. I have been reminded once again how pitiful I am as a single man. Just tonight, at 11:30, I was washing the dishes, sweeping the floor, and bagging garbage before the family came home, hoping they wouldn’t discover my untoward slobbiness. Of course, when they read this, they’ll know. Actually, my wife will know anyway. We disagree on the way I sweep, the way I put dishes in the dishwasher, the way I fold clothes. And so to keep the peace, I just don’t do any of those things. Though it hurts my feelings when I’m discouraged from helping, I feel I must oblige.
But while she is away, I must take action!
I had to have clean clothes to wear as well as clean dishes from which to eat my frozen bachelor meals. It is so amazing what a person can do when times get desperate! So I got creative- I put my two dirty plates and two dirty glasses and two dirty forks in the dishwasher. I also put my jeans and last pair of black socks in there as well. Two birds at once! Or so I thought….
When I finish mopping the soapy water from the dishwasher off the floor, I’ll have to wear my blue suit instead of my jeans because I had to cut them from the inside of the dishwasher. They got sucked down into the drain. That’s okay, because I have some blue socks in the drawer; the black ones from the dishwasher were ground underneath the twisty arm that throws water up to the top rack, where my socks were. They left little cotton/poly furballs everywhere. It looked like my daughter’s Webkins threw up dozens of little wet, black hairballs.
In the morning I must untangle the sheets so I can make up the bed. I’ve also lost my toenail clippers- could they be in the bed? And I am out of toothpaste- fortunately there is some leftover bacon grease, and I think I can make a tasty paste to use to clean my teeth.
While my family was traveling, I had beautiful conversations with my oldest son, Andrew. He has let me worry and cry about dad, he took care of my girls, and kept me posted on each and every home-cooked meal he had. I was forced to hang up on him a couple of times when he would call and only say. “mmmmmm,”. He was eating tenderloin (both pork and venison) and homemade biscuits, cheesecake, or bar-b-que. I was eating pork and beans from the can and Chee-to sandwiches.
My precious daughter just wants to love on her Daddy; I concur. And my beautiful better half is just that, the better part of me. I miss her so much! I am not much without my best friend.
The evidence is in the dishwasher.